Late Night Tales

Malin,
your sarcasm
is very endearing.

In Sweden,
no other
is as appealing.

A poem,
for you -
is it revealing?

A wink
and a smile
can be oh so deceiving!

So shit it!
Malin,
I'll see you this evening.

The Incredible Tale Of The Mysterious Monosyllabic Multiple Personality Suffering Dove Spotter

"Dove!
Dove?
Dove."

"Where?
Above.
Oh."

The Effulgence of Eric the Elephant

Eric the elephant was a classy elephant
more classy than most other elephants.
He starred in plays, and spent his days,
in an orphanage for forgotten orang-utangs.

He'd tell them stories from his childhood,
that he had remembered from years ago.
As a little elephant, Eric was taught a lesson
by a Sith Ifrican hunter and his Smith & Wesson.

The story helped Eric become an adult elephant,
and made him become the ambassador he was,
until one day, riding in the back of a lorry
Eric was joined by a mystical Maori.

The Maori chanted while dancing the haka.
"Ay akah! Akah! Ooh akah! Akah!"
and Eric started glowing a wondrous yellow
and POOF! he vanished into thin air.

Eric disappeared never to be seen again,
the orang-utangs cry for his much-needed return.
For Eric the elephant was an effulgent elephant -
witty, charming and so very effervescent.

Something about pregnant penguins and pudding?

"Something about pregnant penguins and pudding?"
said the wise young lady to the drunken old liar.
"Ooh arr, that ye will have" his breath stinking of booze,
from the Sunday soiree, shooting the shit at the saloon.

So the wise little lady sat down and prepared herself
to be amazed by the old liars lyrical prowess.
She had heard so many times before
about his dreams, hopes and above all else his madness.

He took up his pen and on the paper he wrote,
'Alas m'lady I is too drpunk to be poemly'
and so he retired to his bedroom in drunkenly fashion,
sending obscure ornaments crashing to the ground.

The wise little lady had but two choices,
ensure he slept safe or leave for pastures new.
She was disturbed by his drunken devilishness
but she acknowledged as well his admiration for her.

So she proceeded up those steep little steps,
drowned in the sweat of the drunken fool
and tentatively edged twards the bedroom
praying for his safety, to say nothing of hers.

She pushed open the door and saw his sleepy head
peeking out from under the sheets, and so
she too lied down, putting her arm round his corpse.
And it was the soundest nights sleep he ever had.